Archive for June, 2010

Flying Fish Brewing Company – Exit 16 – Wild Rice Double IPA

Jun 29

Posted by Joe in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

I refuse to hide my love for the state of New Jersey for you or anyone else for that matter. People dump all over the Garden State, no pun intended. But it’s really a wonderland of fun. It has more diners then any other state, it’s the second largest producer of blueberries in America and I freakin live there. I’m 99% sure I’ve put these facts in another post but whatever. New Jersey is awesome and the fact that the good people ate Flying Fish Brewing Co. are creating a beer to celebrate every exit on the NJ turnpike is awesome. The theme of this post is awesome.

The fourth stop on their trip took us to Exit 16, known to us locals as Hackensack/Meadowlands. If you’re not familiar with the area it’s where you New York jackasses come to watch your football teams play. Suck it. It’s also a bit of a wasteland but apparently at one time had a pretty hefty agricultural thingy going on there. That’s the technical term I believe. Plants and animals have been replaced by strip clubs and hotels though. Nothing for nothing I think it’s a improvement. But in honor of it’s once great agricultural system the Exit 16 beer is a double IPA brewed with wild rice.

Have to say I love this beer, it’s a double IPA but the hops and rice do a great job of covering up the 8% ABV. You get a lot of citrus in the nose, grapefruit or maybe even apricots. Floral and sassy all around. The flavor is pretty different from your standard IPA which is nice to see. The rice dries things out even more then you would expect but the beer is very drinkable. Lots of hops as you’d expect but not too overpowering. Well balance in general and really a great beer for a hot day. NJ represent people.

Flying Fish Brewing Company - Exit 16 - Wild Rice Double IPA

I Am No Smarter Than A Turtle

Jun 11

Posted by Joe in Drunken Rants | No Comments

Every morning when I wake up and walk into the living room my turtle goes nuts. It’s got the brain the size of your thumbnail but it’s managed to learn one thing over the years. When the big blob walks into the room after it’s done being dark there’s going to be food raining from the sky. So every morning I walk out of the bedroom and the turtle becomes a violent arm flapping mess. If I didn’t know better I would think the filter had somehow shorted out and was electrocuting her to death. Oddly enough if something like that did happen my wife would have the same reaction as the turtle does in the morning. She’s not a fan of the turtle is my point, circle of life really.

Why am I tell you about this? Well recently it’s become apparent to me that I’m not much smarter then the turtle really. You see every night when the Mrs. BeerandJoe and I sit down to watch TV it’s inevitable that we’ll end up watching some crappy sitcom about a husband who pisses off his wife by doing some god awful stupid thing. Like going to a tractor pull on his anniversary by mistake or something. Men sure are dumb huh? As soon as he’s in the doghouse he won’t know what to do so he sits down his chums to discuss his trouble over a few beers. That’s where little turtle Joey perks up. The moment I see a beer on TV I go into a fit and need one in my hand immediately. My wife doesn’t even have to ask anymore. The moment someone is drinking a beer she looks at me and seeing the gears going in my head. The thought process goes something like this:

1. Hum, those guys are drinking beer
2. Wait a second, I like beer… a lot!
3. Hold on! I think there might be beer in this very apartment!
4. Run to the kitchen and get beer

If we don’t have any beer I start to kick the cabinets and break glasses. Alright not really but I would if I could. Nobody puts Joey in the corner.

Have you ever seen a dog when it sees another dog on TV? They start barking and trying to attack the TV. I’m like that. I see a beer on TV and I need one in me that very second. There’s no stopping it. Do I have a problem? Sure probably but in my tiny little turtle mind the real problem is that I might not have enough been to make me happy. It’s how I was programmed kids. Come to think of it all we watch now are those reality TV shows where housewives sit around and drink wine and complain about their saggy fun bags. Wine has no such effect on me. I think my wife is planning this. To the tractor pull!

A Post About Another Post: The Human Centipede: First Sequence

Jun 2

Posted by Joe in Drunken Rants | No Comments

So it’s been almost a month since I had my big epiphany about posting non-beer related things and for a solid three days I really kept up with it. As expected I got lazy and left you sitting around wondering what happened to your friend Joe. So in a attempt to keep you entertained I thought I’d tell you the story of when I saw the movie The Human Centipede: First Sequence. Watch close, there’s some beer included.

So as you all know I also do some writing over at Bloodygoodhorror.com and sit in on their weekly podcast. Well about a month ago I got a chance to step up to the plate and do a full on movie review. What’s more I was actually going to go to a private screening of the movie before it saw a release. The film was The Human Centipede: First Sequence. Now if you’re not familiar with the flick in short it’s about a German doctor who decides he wants to sow three people together ass to mouth. Yes you read correctly. So needless to say I had to get in the right state of mind to go check this out.

Now if you’re looking for a way to find the right  state of mind I can 100% tell you that slamming 6 beers and then heading to the theater is not the correct way to get it. But The Pony had their 1 year anniversary party on the same day as the screening and everyone who was a part of their All American club got open bar for 4 hours. I worked too god damn hard for that shirt to not get drunk for free so there was no way around it. And with 6 beers, about 12 wings and 3 sliders forced into my stomach in about an hour I headed off to check out the movie.

Now I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my day my friends and I’m willing to admit them.  And while I did enjoy the movie I would warn anyone who’s going to sit down and watch it to not I repeat NOT get hammered beforehand.  You don’t want to be sitting in a theater trying to pay attention to a guy sowing people’s asses while your bladder is being pressured by 6 pints worth of beer. At one point I had to get up and go to the mensroom and splash water in my face because I thought I was going to pass out. I’m not ashamed to admit it to you people and screw you for judging me. I spent the rest of the movie feeling like my head was going to explode I was so full of booze and confusion. Good times were had by all my friend, good times.

Check out my review of The Human Centipede: First Sequence here.